Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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