Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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