I cockslap morals
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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