My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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