I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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