so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
