Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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