I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
