it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
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We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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