Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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