Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
