I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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