I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
