tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
