Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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