He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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