When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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