no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
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I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
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I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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