1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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