HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
