I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize