We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
