We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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