just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
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i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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