I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
wow bdsm is so cute
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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