sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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