She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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