just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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