stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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