The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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