Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
