I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
