she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
