____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
