I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
