If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?