I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize