birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
