I want to make a zoo with you.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
