Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
