I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
