I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
