tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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