porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize