In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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