all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
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They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
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Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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