I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize