I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
