You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm at about main and main street
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Pants are for mortals
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
