And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize