I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
