you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He better not be in your backpack
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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