Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
