I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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