Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
