you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
