If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
